


And Then There Were Two

by AmelieofK



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Junbobficsparty2020, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22781557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmelieofK/pseuds/AmelieofK
Summary: Heartbreak. It is the pain that ensues at the end of every love story. A journey that is meant to make you wiser, sometimes bitter, but inadvertently, cause quite the substantial amount of suffering even after it has long ended. What would you do if it became so painful, it threatened your very existence? What would you sacrifice in order to stop yourself from taking that downward spiral route to self-destruction?
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 27
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt : 
> 
> “I’m just trying to have a good time, but you passed me by on the street and I saw my entire life flash before my eyes.” 

He sat across the table, his face already filled with detachment. When his eyes eventually finds Junhoe’s desperate gaze, it only registered a dull shine filled with nothingness. This, more than anything else told Junhoe it was over for good. Anything said after today would not matter anymore. After five years together, Junhoe had lost Jiwon in a sea of uncertainties and unresolved feelings. Also, Junhoe was certain that Jiwon had found another lover, judging by his late hours recently and the fact that he did not even say or plan anything for their anniversary last week. It was over. It was a finality Junhoe had taken way too long to decide, but there it was and it was over. There were no villains and heroes in their story, just two people who drifted apart, and only one of them was still manning the ship while the other, has abandoned it completely.

“Ready to order now, young man?” The _ahjumma_ , who had been eyeing them and their silence for the past five minutes from the order counter, finally decided that someone has got to give and it was her. There was something matronly about her and Junhoe tore his eyes away long enough from Jiwon, to gaze up at her with the saddest smile she had ever seen in the last decade that she ran the place. Jiwon was already scanning the menu with disinterest.

“Coffee.” He muttered, and then sat back, hands going into the pockets of a jacket Junhoe had never seen him wear before, gazing at the view outside. They were in the middle of nowhere, some few miles off the city, one of those quaint neighbourhood restaurants that were almost always empty. Junhoe had suggested meeting here after Jiwon had his things packed and lugged out from the rundown apartment they used to share. That had been two days ago. It was not the first time Junhoe had threatened to kick him out. It was the first time Jiwon had decided to heed his words.

“Coffee for me too.” Junhoe stated, flashing that smile once again and she could discern that slight waver in his eyes, as if he was holding back more than tears.

“Sure, _ah-ga_.” She quickly countered, almost as if she was giving him all the encouragement he needed to exorcise whatever demon he was battling within him with the narrow-eyed man, who sat across from him in the booth, relaxed and chill as if he was not the one causing all that distress in the other.

“Have you found yourself a place?” Junhoe asked calmly when the _ahjumma_ walked away. Jiwon chortled in disbelief.

“Isn’t that a fine question to be asking two days after you told me to leave? Why would you be worried about me now, even if I have to sleep on the street?” Jiwon had a way of speaking so softly, that it would take awhile before the words actually hit your heart like an arrow. You did not even realise you were bleeding even after it pierces your heart, that was how soft his words were, but the meaning always dripped with poisonous intent, hurtful and filled with vitriol.

“You know I didn’t mean them. It was…I just lost my temper.” Junhoe tried to explain, as he always had done for the last one of the five years they had been together. And like it or not, Jiwon’s way of speaking were always somehow riling him up, making him put up defences but to what, he was never sure. All he knew was that it irked him whenever Jiwon spoke to him this way.

This was a thousand times worst than having Jiwon shout back at him in frustration.

This was a brick wall that was being put up again and again until all that was, became a maze of brick walls from which they would not only never find each other, but also from which they would never find their way out.

“ _Kurocheo_.” Jiwon snided. “You never mean them, you only regret them right after, give or take two days. Maybe it’s better this way. I’m tired of your questions, your suspicions towards me.”

_Cold_. That he had pushed Jiwon to such a state where Jiwon could only offer this coldness where once all they had for each other was warmth. Their drinks came and the _ahjumma_ asked if there would be anything else they might want. Junhoe shook his head and offered that smile again. That sad, sad smile that she had seen over the years from strangers who drifted in and out of this rundown place she inherited from her mother.

“I only asked, because you were not telling me anything.” Junhoe found himself back at square one, of having the need to defend himself, even though it was obvious Jiwon was not going to be convinced. Not anymore.

Jiwon left ten minutes later, walking out into the dead of the night. His coffee left untouched. A car cruised by awhile later to pick him up. Expensive. One of those European sports car. Junhoe could not see the driver, but he could make a good guess who it could possibly be. He did catch sight of the smile Jiwon had flashed as he hopped in. It was the same smile he had only reserved for Junhoe when they began their relationship five years ago.

Jiwon left and Junhoe allowed his tears the release they had been begging since he settled into the booth, almost two hours ago. Even the _ahjumma_ was afraid to approach Junhoe at the sight of him; his chin planted deeply into his chest as his whole body wracked in an unspeakable grief. She only walked over after he left, leaving behind a few notes which obviously amounted to more than ten cups of coffee. She whispered a little prayer for him, for the money and for God to help heal his obviously grieving heart.

~~~~~~

Five days later…

Junhoe was wrapped in a bubble. A bubble seemingly suspended in time and memories. The time within it was short, but the memories were clear and merciless, always causing him to burst out in tears at the most inopportune moment during the day that he had to excuse himself more than five times in just half a day. He always ended up in the emergency staircase area, where his cries echoed within the stairwell. His tears accumulated and by that afternoon, he was floating knee deep in tears within that bubble. Donghyuk stared after him and come lunchtime, while everyone in the office avoided him and left for lunch, Donghyuk had sidled over to his cubicle bearing a few pieces of triangular _gimbap_ and dumpling soup. It was his favourite lunch set, but Junhoe was not hungry at all. Donghyuk left him to wade in the depths of his despair alone. He knew it was futile trying to pull Junhoe out of his miserable slump.

Of course, Donghyuk knew about Jiwon. Donghyuk had the misfortune of meeting him once over dinner and the way Junhoe was always fawning over him; breaking his chopsticks for him, stirring his soup and helping to blow his _tteokbokki_ because Jiwon had complained it was too hot, was enough prelude for Donghyuk to realise that Junhoe had found someone, who probably would not hesitate to break Junhoe’s heart if the opportunity arose. It had devastated Donghyuk who had ended the dinner with a punch to Jiwon’s smug face. He had lost it, because he could not bear the thought of someone as special as Junhoe being treated so callously by a loser like Jiwon. It had hurt Donghyuk’s heart real bad.

When things really did end, Donghyuk had not expected just how far from reality Junhoe had allowed his grief to go. Junhoe had been so beaten and affected that he could barely function within the boundaries of human capabilities.

Junhoe continued to wade and the next day he called in sick. Donghyuk could have called his bluff, demanded an explanation, but Junhoe was one of the best architects in his firm and because he held a torch for the tall, statuesque creature from the first day Junhoe had walked into his office, he had let it slide. He told Junhoe to take the whole week off, but to come back ready to show he was committed to the projects waiting for him. Junhoe had thanked him profusely and had proceeded to lie in bed. He laid there for hours, from the copper streaks of sunrise until the evening beckons with its azure colours. His whole body ache, his tears were now up to his waist and even when he padded into the bathroom to shower, his tears remain untouched and intact, milling around him like an isolated body of water.

It was Donghyuk, who found him a few days later, drowned within his own bubble of tears. The sea had turned into an ocean, which had filled all the spaces he had left to breathe. Donghyuk brought him posthaste to a place where Junhoe could seek proper treatment for his affliction. He had a friend who worked in a clinical facility, which specialises in erasing memories.

EraSURE had started out as a clinical program, which had been government funded in the early nineties’. By late 2000’s, it had gone fully private and concentrated solely in studies related to cerebral research. One of its most controversial projects by far had been their work with PTSD patients, made up mostly of frontline soldiers, who had just returned from Iraq. Donghyuk had a friend working in the facility and had pulled in for a special favour.

Junhoe woke up inside what could only be a hospital ward. There were machines by the side, monitoring his brain activity, his heart rate and his blood pressure. Donghyuk was smiling at him when he came to.

“Hey there, kid.” Donghyuk greeted him. Junhoe managed a weak smile.

“Donghyuk, where am I? Is this the hospital?” Junhoe asked weakly. There seem to be a constriction on his chest and he realised that the lower half of his face had been capped into an oxygen mask. “Did I fall asleep?” He was full of questions and he was also trying to sit up, which was a bad idea, considering he was still anchored to the machines.

“Lie back down.” Donghyuk urged gently. “You are fine. For now.”

“I only remember falling asleep. And crying.” Junhoe was recounting now, his voice soft, almost as if he was embarrassed to say anything further without implicating the state of his mind. 

“When I brought you in, the medical team had immediately checked your vital signs. They were amazed that even though you had done nothing chemically or physically to yourself, you were indubitably dying.”

“I was?” Junhoe had uncapped the oxygen mask, exhaling heavily on the bed.

“Yes, you definitely were.” The voice came from the thin man clad in the familiar doctor’s white coat, who had just entered the ward.

“Hanbin.” Donghyuk had called out, standing up and walking over to the man. They hugged. “ _Oreon man nie ya_.” Donghyuk whispered. The thin man flashed a smile and then turned to the patient, gazing at them from the bed.

“Are you up for a sit-down?” He asked, turning his attention to the patient, settling down on the chair just beside the bed. Junhoe nodded although his gaze remained wary. Those bespectacled eyes scanned the clipboard he had in his hands. “Let’s see, Mister Koo Junhoe, age twenty-four, born March 31st…hm, Aries? How interesting. Weight, checked, height, checked. Body mass is impressive. I can absolutely see why Donghyuk is absolutely smitten with you.” Donghyuk had stirred from his seat. “Settle down, my man. I have not seen or heard from you since college. You call me out of the blue after four years asking me to help out a friend. That says a lot even to the untrained eye, no?” The guy in the doctor’s coat was remarking without looking up from the clipboard. “Okay, now. Let’s check you one more time, shall we.” A nurse had entered just as he was done. She helped Junhoe remove the oxygen mask, administer a blood pressure check and adjusted his bed so that it would incline at a forty-five degree angle. She then nodded to the doctor, leaving the room, wheeling out the out the oxygen machine.

“Am I okay? Can I be discharged now?” Junhoe asked as he adjusted his sitting position, more than ready to succumb to his grief even as he spoke. The thin guy glanced back at Donghyuk, unsurprised to find him staring after Junhoe, brows furrowed in concern. He stood up and walked closer to the patient.

“I’m going to voice record our interactions from this point onwards, so do bear with me, gentlemen. Doctor Kim Hanbin, here. Prognosis for patient number three-five-oh-four, Koo Junhoe. On the outset a healthy young Korean male in his prime. He was brought in surprisingly, for a cardiac arrest seemingly induced by his own brain. He has no prior history of coronary health issues, but his respiratory functions are a tad too low. While there is no medical history to suggest a spanner in the works, his brain activity has indicated an all time high in emotional quotient. He has not displayed any indication of being suicidal, patient seem intent on what we currently termed as internal grieving. This has apparently caused his brain to assume that he is dying from some internal pain and inadvertently has convinced same brain to shut his organs down, causing him to go into what was almost a fatal cardiac arrest at eight-oh-five pm tonight.” Junhoe regarded the doctor petulantly.

“I’m not dying.” He finally said. “I didn’t die.” He reiterated, although his voice was small.

“I’m assuming you have been in the relationship for quite awhile. If you are up for it. Would you please like to share?” Hanbin now asked, reclaiming his seat once more.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” Donghyuk was saying now, standing up to leave.

“No. Stay. You deserve that much for saving my life.” Junhoe insisted, tears dribbling down both eyes now. The machine monitoring his heartbeat had beeped as his heart rate accelerated slightly.

When he was done, Hanbin regarded his face closely. Junhoe could only looked down fingers fiddling with the knitted blanket on his lap, still crying silently.

“While your case is probably the first of its kind, I must inform you truthfully that the pain that you are currently experiencing will not simply ‘just go away’. Firstly, because you are obviously still head over heels in love with him. Secondly because your brain and your heart are not communicating in the way a normal individual should. My question then is simply, do you want to continue living this way or would you like to find a solution to all this unnecessary sorrow?” Hanbin declared.

“I don’t understand…” Junhoe stated, looking puzzled. “How does one find a solution to heartbreak? One does not simply wake up and forget everything that is causing one so much pain, right?” He added, gazing from Hanbin and then to Donghyuk, who had remained like a statue on his seat.

“Oh, that is absolutely possible here with our EraSURE program, Mister Koo.” Hanbin was saying. “We have a ninety percent success rate with regards to erasing memories that were deemed too harmful or painful for anyone to go through. Memories which impair lives, causes much turmoil and in some cases, only give propensity for self-destruction or worst, may even lead to bouts of unexplained violence. As a matter of fact, out of two hundred successful cases, over one hundred and twenty had been soldiers who had returned after serving in Iraq and had been diagnosed with PTSD. They are now back in society, serving as law-abiding, peaceful citizens after they underwent the EraSURE program. “

“That…doesn’t sound very ethical.” Junhoe commented, looking unconvinced.

“They were volunteers, Mister Koo. They agreed to go through the initial trial, because they had nothing to lose. Some thought of killing themselves almost everyday, every hour. Others wanted to take their rifles outside and just fire into the open. These are real, tangible thoughts and they were living in the nightmare on a daily basis. EraSURE is not just life-changing for them, it is an absolute shift in destiny.” 

~~~~~

Given time and circumstance, there would perhaps be a dedicated moment where Junhoe would argue with the discordant and seemingly preposterous theory addressed by the good doctor. The thought of having one’s memory erased seemed pretty farfetched by normal standards. There were way too many grey areas, which required elaborate research and a dearth of unexplained repercussions yet to be discovered to undertake such an ambitious extraction. Junhoe could not possibly think of it as anything lesser than something akin to an extraction, even though Doctor Kim Hanbin had assured him that there was absolutely no surgical procedure involved.

All the cases had shown no sign of any side effects other than the occasional migraine when the brain seem plagued by too many thoughts or when the subject does not get enough sleep. Other than these minor feedback, the brain activity had remained at a stable rate and some were even able to maintain a work-life balance, while others were more contented and happier eventually. The latter, more than anything else, had convinced Junhoe as he sat on the bed pondering. The idea of being truly happy once more, to be free from the burden of a heartbreak, filled with tears and an eventual death, was definitely a pleasing eventuality. While the thought sounded more like grasping at straws at a first glance, Junhoe realised that a part of him held on to hope the way a child would hold to its mother’s hand when it was scared. Less than an hour later, he had signed the document the doctor had left on his bed.

Junhoe contended that if push comes to shove, his brain would just attempt to kill him the way it tried just hours ago and that was that. After all, the process was irreversible. He really had nothing to lose but his life, either way.

Surprisingly, there was no contraption of any sort, not even one of those MRI scanners they had wheeled him into half an hour after he gave instructions to Donghyuk on what to do in the event that anything untoward happened to him. There was just the hospital bed, one of those polygraphs scanners they used in police cases; the one with the needle at the end, which scribbled lines onto metric paper indicating if a suspect was telling the truth or purporting a lie. The room was brightly lit and the doctor was already garbed in a surgical plastic coat, a shower cap and goggles, which had slightly opaque lenses. A nurse was beside him, clad in the same.

“Junhoe.” Hanbin was looking down at him now, there was a tenderness in his eyes. “ We will induce you into a restive state. Your brain will be encouraged to review or go over the memories you have had with your ex-boyfriend and as we progress, these memories will be exponentially retracted via a neuralyzing process which is painless.” The doctor was repeating what he had told Junhoe just an hour ago. “Just pretend that you are sleeping, alright? A deep, painless sleep…” His voice had begun to fade here and Junhoe could feel his lids becoming heavy, but rather than an expected darkness, he seemed to be pushed quite forcefully into a blinding light.

_Year 1_

_“Hi, is this seat taken?” The boy with the messy hair asked. His face had taken on a tinge of red even though the place was air-conditioned. The college was experiencing its hottest summer yet, but they were in a cafe just outside the outskirts of the campus where most of the students would chill in. Junhoe, who had his face buried in the tomes of Roman architecture, gazed up, with eyes bright and clear as the summer’s day._

_“It’s not, you may have it.” Junhoe answered and went back into it again. If he had looked up, he would have noticed that the cafe was barely crowded, there were a lot of empty seats. The boy was not there, because there was no space. He had taken an actual interest at the fair beauty who looked as if he had stepped out of the pages of the book he was reading, looking like a marbled Roman statue himself. Kim Jiwon had seen Junhoe almost on a daily basis passing by the campus grounds, finally garnering enough courage to step up and talk to the object of his desire._

_“Are you, um, taken?” He ventured, scratching his head. Junhoe looked up once more, blinking this time, because he was trying to absorb the question the boy had just asked. Something to do with him being…taken?_

_“Excuse me?” He countered, eyes widened in disbelief._

_“I know it’s hard to believe this. I’m just trying to have a good time, but you passed me by on the street and I saw my entire life flash before my eyes.” Jiwon stated with impatience. “So please, at least let me buy you a drink.” Junhoe blushed at this sudden and very forward introduction. Jiwon bought him a latte and they had spent the rest of the day deep in conversation. Junhoe had been enamoured as the day progressed and so had Jiwon, who had his eyes on the Architecture major for awhile now._

_While they did not share a lot of things in common, Junhoe enjoyed Jiwon’s company. Jiwon was carefree, spontaneous and affectionate, something an introvert like him appreciated and sometimes, envied. Jiwon liked that Junhoe was thoughtful of others, conscious of his surroundings and was always looking out for Jiwon, who was the type of person who could not care less if his clothes were washed, or even ironed. Soon enough, love began to flower in Junhoe’s blameless heart._

**< Beep. ERASED.>**

_Year 2._

_Graduation. They had managed to get a bottle of champagne and sneaked into the basketball court, because Bobby was on the team and he knew where the janitor kept the keys. Junhoe had brought along the wineglasses from his parents’ house. The champagne was tart, a cheap one from the dollar store, but it was enough for now. Jiwon hugged Junhoe closer, tighter against him._

_“Are you sure about this?” Jiwon had asked as Junhoe snuggled closer. His parents’ had gotten him an apartment for his excellent results. He had already secured a job in a top firm as one of the selected junior architects and he had asked Jiwon to move in with him. They had been together for more than a year anyway and Jiwon, even with his average results, needed a place to stay. It only made sense for him to shift in with Junhoe._

_“Yes.” Junhoe said, sipping on the champagne and cringing at the taste. “And I’ll get us Cristal on my first paycheque, I promise.” Junhoe added. Jiwon tilted a fist under Junhoe’s chin and turned Junhoe’s face to his._

_“I don’t care about the Cristal. I just want to be with you.” Jiwon intoned, gazing at him with an intensity which brought colour to Junhoe’s cheeks._

_“I want to be with you too.” Junhoe murmured a return, as Jiwon’s lips inundated his, with more pressure than their previous kisses. It was all that Junhoe wanted, to be with Jiwon and look after him. Jiwon had grand plans. He had great business ideas and was intent on owning his own basketball-themed cafe. Junhoe was convinced that with the proper support, Jiwon would be able to do it. “I love you, I love you so much.” Junhoe exhaled when Jiwon released him._

**< Beep. ERASED.>**

_Year 3._

_Another failed business venture and Jiwon was nursing it with cans of beer and a half-eaten pizza._

_“Hey.” Junhoe walked in after a long day at the office. He had a new project and it was important that he impressed his boss, Kim Donghyuk, who came from a long line of distinguished architects and builders._

_“Hey.” Jiwon had muttered._

_“You’re home early.” Junhoe sounded surprised._

_“Yeah, guess what?” Jiwon said now. Junhoe walked in accidentally kicking an empty can of beer, which had rolled to the floor from off the table. More cans were dotted on the shag carpet covering the floor of the living room. “The part-timer quit on me.” Jiwon complained._

_“He did?” Junhoe was surprised. It was the fifth worker to quit that month and that did not account for the full-timers who left without notice. “Yeah, and now the health board is shutting me down for not making the grade.” Jiwon added._

_“For real!?” Junhoe exclaimed. “Why would they do that?” Junhoe asked as he picked the rest of the cans up and chucked them into the bin in the kitchen. The pile of dirty dishes told him that Jiwon had been home the whole day. “Babe, did you even go down to the cafe?” He asked from the kitchen counter._

_“I did. For awhile and then I came home. I felt so sick. There were rats in the storeroom at the back of the cafe.” Jiwon muttered. The game was at its last fifteen minutes and he was banking on Knicks to take over by at least ten points._

_“What happened, babe? Shouldn’t you oversee to make sure they were doing their job?” Junhoe unsheathed his coat and put on the rubber gloves hanging above the kitchen sink._

_“Why should I be there to oversee when I hired them to do it?” Jiwon mulled._

_“Babe, if you closed down, the bank is going to forfeit the deposit. We won’t get our savings back.” Junhoe sighed from the kitchen, as he washed the plates. His savings, mostly, but he hated being petty. Everything he owned was Jiwon’s too, Junhoe had always felt that way. The point was scored and the game ended. Jiwon padded into the kitchen, arms going around Junhoe’s back, holding him tightly._

_“We’ll just sell off the stuff from the cafe and make do with whatever we can from it, then. Hmm?” He nuzzled Junhoe’s neck, inhaling the scent of his lover. “You are so fine. Come on, let’s go into the room.” Jiwon whispered, his voice low and filled with desire. Junhoe moaned softly._

_“Stop, I’m cleaning the dishes…” He groaned, because Jiwon was grinding his arousal against his back. “Jiwonnie…stop.” Junhoe insisted even as Jiwon wheedled him away from the sink, with gloves still dripping with water and leading him slowly to their bedroom. The door closed behind them and Junhoe whispered, “I love you, Kim Jiwon.”_

**< Beep. ERASED.>**

_Year 4._

_Jiwon was late again. The anniversary dinner had gone cold and hard from the amount of reheating Junhoe had done for the past four hours. He had especially taken off work early to buy Jiwon’s favourite dessert; the ice-cream cheesecake from their favourite bakery and even got Cristal, because tonight was special. But Jiwon was late. He had not worked for a whole year now. The last job he took was as a bartender at a rave club in town and he got fired for copping expensive wine, which Junhoe knew he was selling off on the black market. He had gotten caught and Junhoe had done all he can to ensure he would not be arrested._

_Jiwon became difficult, angry all the time, accusing Junhoe of sleeping with his boss, until Junhoe even had them meet for dinner just so Jiwon could see for himself that there was nothing going on between them. Donghyuk had not been amused. He had warned Junhoe that the next time Junhoe invited him out for dinner, the excuse had to either be for business or pleasure and not to satisfy the tendencies of his possessive, freeloader of a boyfriend. Jiwon had lunged at his boss, but Donghyuk had landed him a good one. Junhoe had tendered the next day, an action Donghyuk had immediately revoked, because he did not want to lose one of his best architects for such a menial reason._

_It was three am when Jiwon finally listed in, supported by a blond-haired guy Junhoe had never seen before in his life. His face was flushed red from all the exertion of having to prop a very inebriated Jiwon against his body. Junhoe, who had fallen asleep on the couch was up and taking over from the guy, saw that he was small in frame and looked especially fragile. A tiny, heart-shaped mole dotted his cheek and Junhoe had a flashing image of Jiwon showering kisses against that mole whenever they met. Junhoe shook his head. It was unkind of him for thinking that the man he loves was cheating on him._

_“Thank you, Mister?” Junhoe asked now as the guy retreated back to the entrance, an embarrassed smile plastered on his lips. He had eyes that were bright. It was like gazing into starlight._

_“Jinhwan.” He said softly and bade goodbye. Junhoe had settled Jiwon onto their bed just in time to see the guy, this Jinhwan driving off in an imported sports car and knew immediately that he was a guy with money. He let Jiwon sleep off the hangover, but the questions he flooded Jiwon with the next morning only seemed to push Jiwon into a foul mood._

_“Get off my back!” Jiwon screamed when Junhoe insisted on knowing where he had been. “I don’t fucking care whether it’s Christmas or Easter! You don’t have the right to tell me what to do or where to fucking be!”_

_“We’ve been together for so long! How can you just say that?! You know how much I love you!” Junhoe questioned tearily, swiping his tears. “After all that we’ve been through together, don’t I at least deserve an explanation?” Jiwon crumpled the blueprints on Junhoe’s worktable, pulling and cursing, causing the papers and writing materials to scatter across the floor._

_“An explanation? Love? You are more in love with your work than with me. Always coming home late! Do you expect me to stay home? To be at your beck and call everyday? Do you think I’m your slave?” Jiwon yelled._

_“Get out of here!” Junhoe had muttered angrily and Jiwon had walked out without even a single apology, as if it was not Junhoe who had supported him financially for the last four years, even investing a good chunk of his savings on all the grandiose plans Jiwon had, only to see them fizzle out to nothingness. It was the first of many more loud arguments and fights to come, all predictably ending with Junhoe crying, picking up the pieces of whatever it was Jiwon had inevitably thrown to the floor in anger; the rolls of blueprints Junhoe had painstakingly worked on to secure their future together, the couple mugs bearing their grinning faces with grooves at the mouth so that they would fit into a heart shape when placed side by side, the framed picture of them in front of the cafe he had placed all of his savings into to kickstart Jiwon’s dream of running his own business._

_“I love you, Jiwonnie. I love you.” Junhoe chanted over and over again._

**< Beep. ERASED.>**

_Year 5._

_It was the restaurant. The place Junhoe knew would be the last time he would probably see Jiwon. The Jiwon he had dedicated his life to loving, the one who was both his happiness and his reason to live. He could see everything as clear as day. The ahjumma, watching them tentatively from behind the counter. Jiwon looking as if he could not wait to get out of there, stirring the coffee, but not drinking it. His eyes kept glancing outside where the sports car sat idle. The same one that the blond-haired guy had driven. Jinhwan was his name._

_“You are with him now, aren’t you?” Junhoe stated, over his own untouched coffee, clutching his knees tightly below the table to stop himself from crying. To remain strong. “You have been with him for awhile now. When were you planning to tell me?” Junhoe added, his voice still low, almost a whisper._

_“Things change, people change.” Jiwon was remarking now, placing his hands into the pockets of the bomber jacket Junhoe had never seen him wore before. It was brand new and from a very high end boutique. “Maybe it’s better that we parted this way. We don’t have to see each other ever again or even have any reason to call upon each other anymore. Less hurtful, wouldn’t you say?” Jiwon countered, slouching against the seat now, eyes just glancing down into his coffee, which he kept stirring and stirring._

_“Go then. Live your life without regrets, Kim Jiwon. You don’t even have to look back, because you won’t see me at all.” Junhoe had said. Jiwon shrugged and that shrug made the pain a thousand times worse. It was the shrug which told Junhoe the kind of person he had loved for the last five years. It was a shrug equivalent to having one’s heart pummelled into a bed of nails by a sledgehammer. The force had been so strong, it had shattered everything; the image of Jiwon that he loved despite his faults, the way Jiwon had used him and him being blinded by his love for Jiwon. It was the final straw. “It hurts. It hurts so bad…I love him so much and it hurts.” Junhoe cried into the table as the ahjumma watched silently._

_Jiwon did turn before he entered the car. But he could not see Junhoe, of course. Junhoe who had at first slouched into his seat, head in his chest, trying to bury his sobs into his hands, had now laid his head against the table braying as loud as he could; defeated by the most unkindest of blow, succumbing to the grief of his deadened heart._

**< Beep. ERASED.>**

~~~~~

Five months later…

Junhoe was holding on to a bouquet of roses, walking down the street. Everyone’s eyes were on him and not just for that humongous bunch of roses in his arms. He was practically glowing with happiness. Already statuesque and drop dead gorgeous, he strutted like a model in the Burberry coat with the fur-lined collar, Donghyuk had gifted him to celebrate their four months anniversary together, he was the picture of perfection and incandescent happiness.

He passed by a couple, who gazed after him with their mouths opened and he nodded at them.

“Junhoe?” He heard his name being called. He stopped in his tracks and turned towards the voice.

“Yes?” He retorted. It was the couple. Their arms were linked. One guy was substantially shorter than the other. He had blonde-hair and a cute heart-shaped mole on one cheek. The other guy had red curls, which had been cut short, narrowed eyes, an aquiline nose and thin lips. They were both handsome, but there was something substantially attractive about the guy with the curls.

“Koo Junhoe. It’s me.” The guy with the curls was saying now. The shorter guy was wearing an uncomfortable smile.

“I’m sorry…but do I know you?” Junhoe uttered with uncertainty now, clutching the bouquet tightly. He was already late, Donghyuk would probably be waiting for him. They had dinner and a movie lined up for tonight. Plus, Junhoe had to thank him for the flowers, which he had gotten the florist to sent to him at the office, since he had been out finalising their latest project with the developers.

“It’s me, Jiwon, Junhoe.” Red Curls was saying now, walking towards him, almost disregarding the arm that had been clutching him tightly. Blond-hair looked out of place, scratching his head with that forgotten arm. Red Curls had his arms out, open, as if expecting something from him.

“Jiwon? I’m sorry, I don’t think we have ever met before. Do you know me from somewhere?” Junhoe asked, looking puzzled now. Red Curls was practically snorting now, looking almost offended that Junhoe did not know who he was. Blond-hair was pulling Red Curls back, but he shook his elbow, coming nearer towards Junhoe, whose face had gone from puzzlement to a solemness Jiwon had never seen before in all the years he had been with Junhoe. “I”m sorry but please take a step back, sir.” Junhoe was demanding now in a tone of voice, which verged between firmness and defensiveness, Jiwon had never heard before either.

“Junhoe?” A voice, soft and dulcet, broke the tensed momentum. Donghyuk walked up, sighted Jiwon and the colour was drained totally from his face. “ _Jagi_? Everything alright?” The fact that Donghyuk had called him in a term of endearment and Junhoe’s arm went around Donghyuk’s waist protectively tugged at Jiwon’s dormant heart.

“This man. He seem to think he knows me.” Junhoe was saying, fingers digging into Donghyuk’s waist. A cloud of confusion seem to pass over his gaze and Junhoe shook his head, trying to clear it. “I…I…don’t think I’ve ever met him in my life.” It was the final stroke for Jiwon, hearing those words.

“Junhoe, it’s me. Jiwon! Kim Jiwon! How the fuck can you not remember me!” Jiwon was practically screaming now. Junhoe gazed at Donghyuk in uncertainty.

“Babe, let’s get out of here.” Junhoe was pleading now. The man was clearly crazy and Junhoe suddenly feel they should not stand there a moment longer to pander to this craziness.

“Koo Junhoe!” Jiwon was shouting now, gripping his arm even as he turned away. Donghyuk grabbed Jiwon’s collar, an arm with an enclosed fist poised, ready to knock him out. Junhoe held Donghyuk’s arm back. Junhoe gazed at his errant hand, which had stopped Donghyuk out of the blue. He did not want Donghyuk to hurt the man for some reason and he did not know why, but he had the strongest sense of deja vu right then. 

“Donghyuk…I.” Junhoe had exhaled.

“Everyone calm down, please.” It was Blond-hair. He had pulled Red Curls back slowly, untwisting his grip from Junhoe’s arm and then slowly prying Donghyuk’s fingers from Jiwon’s collar.“Both of you need to step back.” He interred. There was already a crowd there, watching, some even with handphones out, already taking a video. They had created quite the drama at the sidewalk. “Perhaps there is somewhere we could go?” Blond-hair was saying. Jiwon knew exactly where they all could go.

The restaurant was rundown. The _ahjumma_ was actually considering to close early today when the four young men walked in. The cheerful greeting died on her lips when she saw the familiar faces of the two who had came into her restaurant for coffee and heartbreak from months ago. It was impossible not to forget the boy who had shed so much tears onto her linoleum floor and had made up for it by paying more than the usual price for two cups of coffee.

“Table for four, please ma’am.” One of the four had requested sweetly, bowing profusely. _The blackguard_. The one who had caused the river of tears. She humphed a return and pointed to the same booth they had sat on six month ago, which looked out foggily to the street. The other two, whom she did not recognised were looking around the place doubtfully. Jinhwan had drove all of them there and he had recognised this restaurant as the one Jiwon had asked him to wait out in front while he ended things with Junhoe. So much for tying loose ends, he exhaled to himself wondering why he had stayed with Jiwon anyway. All he seemed to be doing was live off Jinhwan’s inheritance, something Jinhwan thought was a privilege that was meant for himself alone. Now this. “Junhoe, don’t you remember this place?” Jiwon was asking now, the desperation in his voice was starting to grate Jinhwan’s ears. He really thought Jiwon was done with his ex-lover. He apparently thought wrong.

“What is the point of coming here, anyway? We don’t even know who you are?” Donghyuk was demanding petulantly now, his face filled with an anger that he seem to be failing at holding back, the way he was glaring murderously in Jiwon’s direction. “Can’t you see my fiance is upset?!” He added defensively, hugging Junhoe’s shoulder. Junhoe nodded, glancing around the restaurant in trepidation. Something about the place was familiar. He sighted the _ahjumma_ behind the counter, smiled and then nodded in greeting. It was almost comical, but somewhat comforting when she threw him a finger heart and mouthed a ‘hwaiting’ his way.

“You are going to marry this loser?!” Jiwon was raising his voice again and Jinhwan held his arm tightly, reminding him where they were. Junhoe returned his gaze to this man who claimed to have known him for a very long time. They had driven here in silence. His long legs grazing Jiwon’s, who had insisted on riding at the back seat with him. Junhoe felt that it was somewhat comfortable but looking at Jiwon, Junhoe failed to recognise anything, not the face, not the demeanour, nothing. Jiwon had gazed longingly at Junhoe in the dim darkness of Jinhwan’s car, realising how majestic his face was; the way his brows were perfectly shaped against the finely carved temple, the curved bridge of his nose with the rounded end, the cupid’s bow which held up the supple part of his upper lips before swelling towards the plump of the lower, all framed within that perfectly chiselled jawline. How could he have missed all this when it was what had attracted him to Junhoe back in college? Donghyuk had requested that he stopped staring at Junhoe after awhile and Jiwon had glared at the front rearview mirror in defiance, feeling the first stirrings of regret that he had ever let Junhoe go so easily.

“I will thank you for not calling my fiance’ names, sir.” Junhoe intoned. Jiwon ran his fingers through his curls in frustration.

“Junhoe, I am not your sir. I am Jiwon, Kim Jiwon. Your lover from college. We were together for five years! What happened to you? Did you get into an accident and suffered from memory loss?!”

“From college? Is that where you knew me from? I’m sorry if I didn’t remember you. So, that’s where we met?” Junhoe was saying now. “I am really sorry, I don’t think my memory is all that good if I have to go back all the way there. Were you an architecture major too?” Junhoe asked now, and Jiwon did not know whether to cry or scream at the almost amicable manner he was speaking to him then.

“This is such a fucking waste of time.” Donghyuk was professing. “Junhoe, let’s go. We can just send them an invitation card if he’s really your friend from college.” He added, standing up, but Junhoe was not budging from his seat.

“Junhoe, we were together since college. We broke up six months ago. No, I broke up with you. I’m sorry about that, Junhoe but it’s me, it’s Jiwon. You loved me. You loved me for five whole years. Ask the _ahjumma_ , we came here when we said our final goodbyes!” Jiwon was declaring now, gritting his teeth so tightly, the veins on his neck was showing. “Ask her!” Jiwon was pointing to the restaurant owner now, who remained seated, quiet behind her counter gazing at the four them in amusement.

“Jiwon, what difference does it make? You ended it, why are you so bothered by the fact that he doesn’t remember you? Isn’t that for the better?” Jinhwan was saying now. He had folded his arms, glaring at Jiwon, realising that maybe, Jiwon had been uncertain of his own feelings for Junhoe and was now revisiting them.

“Yeah, isn’t that for the better? Wasn’t that what you wanted? You had found yourself a shinier new coin to gamble with. Higher stakes compared to the small change that Junhoe had been for you.” Donghyuk was saying now, lips charted into a grim line, his voice filled with vitriol. Junhoe had turned his gaze sharply at Donghyuk, surprised by the bitterness in Donghyuk’s voice. He had always been gentle, giving and treated Junhoe with a tenderness he had never experienced before in his whole life. To hear him bearing so much poison in his voice was quite shocking to hear.

_Five years?_

Junhoe tried to draw from his memory any moments he had for the last five years, but there was nothing. Nothing at all, just a blanket of blackness. A dead end. A closed curtain that will never opened again. He knew he had worked for Donghyuk and Donghyuk had courted him before he finally agreed to go out on a date with him. They had kissed, slept together and Donghyuk was always showering him with attention and gifts but…something was wrong. There seem to be a void in his life which he could never put his finger on. He had his life on play mode, but he could not rewind himself back to any moment from five to six months ago. It was quite bothersome. Now listening to Donghyuk’s declaration, he realised there was something Donghyuk had not told him.

“Was I? Was I really with him, Donghyuk?” Junhoe asked, turning to Donghyuk now. He held out his hand on the table and Donghyuk placed his hand over Junhoe’s on the table possessively.

“You don’t know him, right?” Donghyuk asked now, trying to skirt the question and Donghyuk was a terrible liar. HIs lips quivered slightly and tears were brimming in his eyes.

“You know what? I’m not staying for this shit any longer.” Jinhwan was saying now, pushing Jiwon out from the booth. “Douchebag.” He spat, glaring at Jiwon, with restrained anger before walking out of the restaurant. A screech of the tires of his Porsche and he was gone. Junhoe gazed at Donghyuk for the longest time.

“Donghyuk, if you really love me, please tell me the truth.” Junhoe was saying now. Donghyuk’s eyes began to tear as he began recounting how he had found Junhoe sprawled on the sofa, barely breathing. How he had rushed Junhoe to a medical facility where he had been revived. How his friend, Doctor Kim Hanbin had suggested that Junhoe signed up for his program, EraSURE which deleted Junhoe’s memories, the same memories which had helped to trigger his heartbreak. Junhoe listened quietly, clutching Donghyuk’s hand tightly, because Donghyuk was crying so bad, struggling to explain to Junhoe how he did not even stop Junhoe from agreeing to undergo the procedure or even signing the waiver forms. When Donghyuk was done, Junhoe was hugging him, caressing his back gently. “It’s okay, Donghyuk. _Chariso_. You did well. I’m not even angry with you. I am thankful that you saved me. I am sorry to have hurt you this way. I should have known why you had kept me in the firm all these years, when you could have fired me. _Mian_ , Donghyuk.”

“You did nothing wrong.” Donghyuk was saying between hitched breaths. “I should have stopped you. You had just woken up from a heart attack, you…you were barely in the condition to make such a momentous decision in your life. I…was selfish, I wanted you for myself and I allowed my friend to do this to you.” Donghyuk sniffled and Junhoe hugged him even tighter. “I don’t want to lose you, Junhoe.” He cried. Junhoe nodded in understanding.

“You won’t lose me, Donghyuk. I’ll…I’ll always be here for you, if you want me to. You took care of me after the procedure. You poured your love on me and…and…I am undeserving of it, Donghyuk. Were you willing to accept my love for you knowing it is not the way you love me? Knowing that I was not giving you the hundred percent you give me so willingly?” Junhoe was saying now, holding him tightly. “That’s not fair to you, Donghyuk.”

“I don’t even care, Junhoe. I don’t care if it’s not fair.” Donghyuk was saying now.

“Did you see how I suffered before all this? Did you? Do you think I would allow for something like this to happen to you?” Junhoe was saying now and Donghyuk cried even more at this. “You do not want to become me, Donghyuk. I took the easy way out. I decided that I did not want to live with the pain and brought this on myself. I feel as if my life is in a limbo and there is nothing I could do about it, except just live it without investing my emotions. Can you accept loving someone, who is incapable of sacrificing for you, Donghyuk? Is it possible to love blindly and accept your fate, even if it means witnessing your own self-destruction? No matter how much you love somebody, you need to place worth on that love, or it will never amount to nothing, especially in the eyes of the other person.” Junhoe was saying now. “You deserve better.” Junhoe insisted, glancing at Jiwon, who had been listening closely, tears already glistening in his eyes. “Just as I did.”

When things had calmed down, Donghyuk himself unsheathed the titanium ring from Junhoe’s finger. He had bought it for Junhoe when he proposed a month ago. He gazed into Junhoe’s eyes as if committing that face to his own memory. He laid his lips against the lips he had always thought he would someday own and said goodbye softly, wiping Junhoe’s tears for him. He did not even look at Jiwon, who had been blinking back his since Junhoe spoke moments ago. Donghyuk left, still swiping the tears, which had been flowing constantly from his eyes.

_And then, there were two._

“Junhoe…” Jiwon began and Junhoe looked at him, trying to recollect once more what he could have possibly seen in Jiwon that would have made him love the man. Jiwon stopped, unable to continue. Only his tears seem to be the apt replacement to whatever it was he wanted to express.

“Look at this predicament we have found ourselves in. I am trying very hard to remember anything about you, anything, any crumb, any little bit my mind could find, but the only thing I have as proof that I once loved you are a shoebox full of broken things hidden deep within my closet. Crumpled blueprints, remnants of a mug with our faces on it and a shattered frame of you and me standing in front of a cafe. That is all I have, Kim Jiwon. Up until today, I did not even remember your name. You had ceased to exist within my memory banks. It got me thinking, how bad it must have been that I would subject myself to erasing all memories of you in my life since I don’t even have that now.” Jiwon’s breath had hitched badly and ironically, his head was buried into his chest now, trying not to cry, but failing miserably. “How bad was our relationship that I was driven to erase you completely from my life only to live with this kind of emptiness?”

“Junhoe…I was stupid.” He managed in between his sobs.

“No. Judging from what I can through your friend with the sports car and from Donghyuk, I was the stupid one and you were the smart one.” It was Junhoe and yet, it was not. His Junhoe, the one he knew, had never been this ruthless or unforgiving. The Junhoe he knew would not even harm a fly. _Or him._

“Junhoe, please stop. I…I won’t ever disturb you, if that’s what you want. I’ll keep myself away, even if it hurts me.” Jiwon was saying now, his words coming out in a rush. Junhoe smiled. It was bitter, the smile and while it did little to mar that perfect face, it made him look cold and unrelenting. There was no warmth in Junhoe now. He became a stranger whom Jiwon once knew. 

“I think it’s a little too late for apologies or even anything resembling that at this stage, Jiwon. I find it extremely conceited of you to even suggest that I would hurt you. How would I be capable of that, when you yourself admitted that you were the one who ended the relationship?” Junhoe was standing up now, ready to leave. “I imagined I must have been sitting in your place that day when you broke my heart. Am I capable of breaking yours? The more important question would be, do you even have one I could break to begin with?” Junhoe had asked quite blatantly, as Jiwon planted his head to the table and cried profusely. Junhoe turned towards the counter. “How much do we owe you, _ahjumma_?” He asked, taking out his wallet from his coat.

“You didn’t even order anything, _ya-imma_.” The old lady cursed, but there was a rictus of a smile on her lips. “You young people keep coming to my restaurant and crying, it’s bad luck for my business, you know. Next time, at least order _jjajangmyeon_!” She was complaining, slapping the counter. Junhoe gazed at her in amusement, placing a few bills onto the counter. She peered warily at the money and nodded sagely. Junhoe left, walking out into the night, letting his feet take him wherever he wanted to go, leaving Jiwon to wallow in tears and regrets, which were now solely his alone to own.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ahjumma pesters Junhoe to visit her restaurant and he was in for quite the surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The promised Bonus Chapter & a fluff ending as requested by poll. Thank for reading!

**< Beep. ERASED.>**

_One year later…_

Junhoe was rushing to leave the office, grabbing his coat and practically flying out from the door. Donghyuk waved at him from the other end of the room.

“You leaving now?” Donghyuk asked. Junhoe nodded.

“Are you coming?” Junhoe asked, smiling brightly.

“After dinner with Chanwoo. If he is up for coffee, of course.” Donghyuk admitted.

“Ah~it’s still the honeymoon period, I should not have asked.” Junhoe teased and Donghyuk laughed, waving at Junhoe dismissively for that jibe. He sounded happier and he is. He was recently married to one of South Korea’s most promising model; a tall, tanned drink of water by the name of Jung Chanwoo and they had just returned from their honeymoon in Bali two weeks ago. Junhoe hailed a cab and in fifteen minutes he was standing in front of the restaurant which held many interesting memories for him.

Gone were the foggy windows though. The place had undergone a major overhaul and Junhoe wondered if it had been his mistake for leaving his business card along with the cash behind for Madam Oh, the _ahjumma_ who had witnessed firsthand, the turmoil which had unfolded in his life in this same place that had been her restaurant.

She had been calling him for the last three months, asking him to come to the reopening of her restaurant, which she said she had decided to convert into a cafe. The neon sign outside the spotless storefront window was flashing blue and purple lights proclaiming the cafe’s name.La Mémoire, it read in cursive. Junhoe gazed at it for the longest time before he realised that Madam Oh was waving at him from behind the glass door to hurry in. Junhoe entered, bowing to the lady profusely.

“You are here, I am glad you came! I reserved this seat just for you.” She pulled him by the hand, leading him in with an exuberance he found quite amusing. The place felt cosy now, there were sofas and armchairs scattered across the parquet floors with wooden tables lined beside them. There was music playing in the back ground. The place was already bustling with a very young, vibrant crowd. Even Madam Oh had undergone a makeover. The frilly apron with the housedress was replaced with a front button dress that had a flared skirt, it was a deep shade of maroon with white polka dots. Her tight curls had been straightened and there were brownish tints done so subtly, it could only be the work of real professionals. Madam Oh had given herself a much deserved upgrade.

“You look good, Madam Oh. Are you by any chance dating anyone?” Junhoe teased. She slapped his shoulder and then excused herself. Junhoe sat back against the armchair, inhaling the scent of coffee and freshly baked pastries. She came moments later bearing a tray of latte and a small plate of pastry; a lemon tart. “Wow, these smell and looks so good!” Junhoe exclaimed. The latte had boasted a foam which had a layered heart drawn in the middle of it and there were tiny candy hearts circling the triangular tart.

“Enjoy! This is on the house.” She declared and walked off before Junhoe could protest, because more people were coming in. Junhoe drank the coffee and ate the tart, which was probably one of the best he ever tasted. He sat back after polishing off the tart, eyes closed, basking in the calm atmosphere.

“Excuse me, but is this seat taken?” The voice was very familiar in its raspiness and Junhoe opened his eyes, turning towards it. He should have been surprised to find Jiwon standing there, but for some reason he was not at all. It was almost as if he had expected him. Jiwon was garbed in black, casual pants and a white long-sleeved blouse, the top button undone. His curls had been straightened, but they remained as red as a firetruck and he looked positively handsome.

“No, it’s not…you may have it.” Junhoe offered with a hesitation, Jiwon completely understood.

“I see you finished the lemon tart. Was it really nice?” Jiwon asked, as he sat across from Junhoe, relishing the sight of that chiselled jaw, the pout of his lips and those dark, ebullient eyes. Junhoe noticed that Jiwon had a half apron on and it was dusty with flour. There were even some flour on the underside of Jiwon’s arms and Junhoe’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Were you the one who made it?” Junhoe exclaimed. Jiwon nodded, grinning sheepishly. “Wow, I didn’t know you could bake!” Junhoe exclaimed, sipping his latte. “So, you are working here now?” Junhoe enquired and Jiwon nodded. Junhoe thought Jiwon was really handsome, especially when he smiled, because it made his eyes turned into such joyful crescents.

“I’m sort of an investor. It’s really Madam Oh’s place.” He surmised, gazing towards the back of the cafe, where Madam Oh was observing them anxiously.

“Is this the reason why she kept pestering me to come for the opening?” Junhoe looking as if he was on the cusp of discovering something was truly a sight and Jiwon giggled. He gazed at Jiwon in disbelief and then heaved a sigh heavily.

“I told her it was unnecessary. If two people were meant to be…” Jiwon trailed off here, gazing outside the window, as if thinking of things that might have been. Junhoe bit his lips, finding Jiwon extremely attractive especially when he was deep in thought the way he was now. Gone was the mirth in his eyes, just him struggling with something; guilt? or the bitterness of the past?

“Two people were…” Junhoe teased. Jiwon turned to glance at him, realising that Junhoe was nudging him, he laughed. “Is the lemon tart the only thing you have? I haven’t really had dinner yet..” Junhoe began, rubbing his tummy. Jiwon smiled.

“I could whip something up for you. What do you have in mind?” Jiwon asked, standing up slowly.

“ _Jjinja_?” Junhoe sounded impressed. “I don’t think you ever cooked anything when we were living together the last time.” Junhoe declared and then stopped short when he realised what he had just said. Jiwon gazed openmouthed at Junhoe in surprise.

“You…you remember?” Jiwon asked, turning solemn immediately. Junhoe pretended to gaze outside. “Junhoe?” Jiwon sat back down, staring at Junhoe, waiting for an explanation. Tears were flowing down his eyes now. Madam Oh was craning her neck real hard from the back of the cafe. “Since when?” Jiwon asked urgently. Junhoe shrugged, letting the tears fall, unable to stop its discourse.

“Maybe two months ago.” He said quietly. “I went back to consult Doctor Kim and he said…he said there are cases where the memories, painful as they may be, also held pockets of happiness for me. Those were valid reasons for the memories to come flooding back.” Junhoe admitted. It was painful to watch Junhoe recount this with so much tears in his eyes. It was as if he had taken the pain away only to have them returned to him at full blast, breaking his heart once again. Jiwon hurt even worse knowing that he had been the cause of that pain.

“Would my apology even be valid at this point, Junhoe?” Jiwon asked, feeling absolutely helpless. Junhoe wiped his tears, shaking his head profusely, now flashing a smile that to Jiwon made him looked decidedly ethereal and somewhat at peace.

“It…it isn’t even your fault now, when you think about it. I mean, I was the one who wanted those memories erased. I made that decision to forget. So when it came rushing back to me quite suddenly, I was…unprepared. I laid down in bed and cried for hours.” Junhoe shared, thinking back to that moment two months ago when he woke up to all the pain his mind had tried to erase but only ended up oppressing. “i hated the fact that I allowed it to happen to me. That…I allowed you to hurt me this bad.” Junhoe said into the calm silence of the cafe. His tears had tapered off and now there was only a sigh; solid, heavy and almost as if it was being heaved into the stillness of the road outside. “Why does love have to be so complicated?” Junhoe was asking, almost as if to himself.

“It sucks doesn’t it? I made it such a sucky experience for you.” Jiwon was exhaling in frustration.

“I made it sucky for myself. I lost so much of me in the process that I could not handle myself when it was over because I made it so much about you until there was none for me, at all.” Junhoe added, the smile he flashed was both haunting and beautiful. “You made it sucky for you too. I enabled you to think that it was all about you until you forgot that I exist.” Junhoe stated.

“So…we are both sorry?” Jiwon mused. Junhoe laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “Do you think people like us deserves second chances?” Jiwon asked. Junhoe found his gaze, there were tears and something else. Hope? “Do you think someone like me, deserves the second chance to love someone like you?” Jiwon asked, holding out his hand. Junhoe seemed to take a long pause to consider this. He stood up and Jiwon’s heart lurched, thinking maybe it was the last time he would ever see Junhoe and Madam Oh would be sighing everyday at how heartbroken Jiwon would be for even thinking Junhoe was going to give him another chance. But Junhoe did take his hand, did glove his fingers between the digits of Jiwon’s own hand.

“I’m not sure. I’m kinda hungry and you did say you were going to cook for me. I can’t think clearly if I have not eaten yet so…” Junhoe whispered and Jiwon thought he would hold tightly this time. This time, he would give Junhoe the kind of love that he had deserved from the beginning and maybe make him happier than he ever did before. This time, Jiwon needed to make sure that there would be more laughter and joy than tears and recriminations. Jiwon was certain of this as he led Junhoe to the back of the cafe where the kitchen was.

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for dropping by to read my fics! It is always a pleasure to write for readers who enjoy stories not just for the pairing, but also for the stories itself. I think the best stories are the ones you come reading expecting nothing but walk away in awe by how good and fulfilling it was.


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